Your Gay Uncle John

Wit, Wisdom, Outdated Cultural References

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Well here we are. Today, I’m 40. Dec birthdays often become referenda on the year that preceded them, and this one has been extremely difficult. The kind of upheaving year that forces you to re-examine everything—for the second time in four years in my case. I’m working on considering this an “invigorating” “opportunity” for “reinvention,” but let’s be real: 40 is long past the time when a do-over is fun and exciting. This isn’t where I thought I’d be at 40. It’s disheartening, and frustrating, and honestly, pretty scary. But what I’ve learned this year—with my trusty therapist’s help—is that it’s not so much the hardships or the nature of my life that has me white-knuckling 40, but rather shame, a thing so ingrained in me from my upbringing I didn’t know it was there. But it is. I have been feeling ashamed that I am unstable, unsuccessful, unattached, untogether, unwell, even unthin, at 40. And since statistically, just making it to 40 is an accomplishment in itself for a person with my combination of illness & trauma & circumstance...I also feel shame about feeling shame. *sings “Circle of Life”* So this is my first act as a 40-year-old: owning all this shame not for pity or encouragement, but so that, in contravention of everything I’ve ever been taught and everything that’s kept me “safe” up until now, I can finally choose to walk the fuck away from it. Or at least try. Or start trying to try, I guess. So there. Here’s a selfie, totally unedited, that I took today in my favorite place on Earth, where I was lucky enough to attend an exhibition of one of my favorite artists, Basquiat. Here too, is a pic of a sunset—which always seem to be incredible on my birthday. (I have a post abt this a couple yrs back in my feed. It’s a thing I can’t explain, but I’m grateful for.) I didn’t get to photograph this one in time, but you can tell it was pretty incredible for a minute or two. Not bad for a shitshow of a 40th. - - - #40 #40yearsold #40thbirthday #thisis40 #birthday #bday #paris #gay #gaystagram #gaysofinstagram #gayguys #sunset #mentalhealth #mentalillness #parisjetaime #basquiat #fondationlouisvuitton

Happy Thanksgiving from me and my dognephew enjoy this eminently unflattering angle! - - - #thanksgiving2018 #thanksgiving2018🦃🍂🍁 #thanksgivingbreak #thanksgivingdinner #thanksgivingday #thanksgivingweekend #turkey #turkeyday #instaturkey #holidays #holidaze #gaystagram #gaysofinstagram #gayguys #gaythanksgiving #thanksgivingfood #traditions #thanksgivingtradition #everythingisturkey #thankful #givingthanks #dachshundsofinsta #dachshund #doguncle #dogunclesofinstagram #dogs #dogsofinstagram

Wrote a thing (link in bio) abt the fires in California, & Point Dume in Malibu in particular, which are v important parts of my history & life (and I’m not even a rich celebrity, imagine!😒) These fires got me in my feelings, as the saying goes. Heartbroken for my former home. Piece is lamely titled “On California Wildfires” bc I’m bad at titles, on Medium and my blog (link in bio). Pls give to the California Community Foundation’s Wildfire Relief Fund if you can. Stay safe, Californians, and stay strong. Photo reposted from Wally Skalij, LA Times - - - - - #repost #california #wildfire #malibu #pointdume #woolseyfire #campfire #hillfire #losangeles #wildfires #malibufires #ptdume #thousandoaks #mentalhealth #mentalillness #gayigers #gaystagram #gaysofinstagram #gayguys #writersofinstagram #writing #essay #gaywriter #chicagoigers #la #wildfires #cawildfires #blog #climatechange #climatechangeisreal

VOTE PLS YOU CAN SCROLL THRU THIRST TRAPS WHILE YOU WAIT THATS THE BESUTY OF AMERICA JUST VOTE AND STAY IN LINE TILL@YOU GET TO OKAY THX Srsly as others have said, I repeat: If your vote didn’t matter they wouldn’t try so hard to take it away! And if anyone tries call 866 OUR VOTE! Let’s do this! OKAY BYE PLEASE VOTE OK THX BYE - - - - #midtermelections #midterms #midterms2018 #voting #gotv #vote #ivoted #politics #votethemout #voteblue #bluewave #bluewave2018 #progressive #gaystagram #gaysofinstagram #gayvotersofinstagram #gayigers #chicagoigers #igchicago #lgbtq #queer #gayguy #votersuppression #voted #democracy

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