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Last Night’s #RHONY Has Me Dead of Secondhand Embarrassment & I Am Now a Corpse In a Grave: A Recap

Posted on May 10, 2018May 11, 2018 by yourgayunclejohn

Oy. Well, I had a good run (lol no I didn’t my entire life has been a nightmare but… Read more Last Night’s #RHONY Has Me Dead of Secondhand Embarrassment & I Am Now a Corpse In a Grave: A Recap

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Going off-brand to talk abt the best parts of a difficult year, bc my therapist is making me🙃 1–Got to spend a lot of time in LA 2-esp with my dear heart @bitchesgottaeat, acting a whole-ass fool in an Airbnb with great light we didn’t quiiite catch in time for our selfie 3-and seeing my best boys, brother-from-another @mmkeppler & @ryeguyla tie the knot 4–Nephew turned 1! 5-And became a breakdancer! 6-Niece was born! 7-And loves to yell at things! 8-Despite it all got to spend part of the holidays.. 9–& my 40th in my favorite place, Paris (thx @xavier6k for making a dreaded bday one of the best! Ditto @amsrdiyspartan, for the party I forgot to photograph🤦‍♂️!) 10–Got a good selfie, which makes the whole year’s worth it. Foucault said that I think. - 2018 was hard, & I’m nowhere bear where I thought I’d be last Jan 1, but I learned a ton, grew a lot & there’s big changes coming in 2019. Dunno if I’ve ever been able to say that. So I’m calling it a net win. *bangs gavel* - #la #lastory #beach #sunset #losangeles #nephew #niece #babies #babiesofinstagram #gunkle #uncle #gayuncle #gaywedding #loveislove #lgbtq #gayguys #gaystagram #gayigers #gay40 #paris #parisjetaime #40 #thisis40 #2018 #2019 #newyear #mentalhealth #movingforward

Well here we are. Today, I’m 40. Dec birthdays often become referenda on the year that preceded them, and this one has been extremely difficult. The kind of upheaving year that forces you to re-examine everything—for the second time in four years in my case. I’m working on considering this an “invigorating” “opportunity” for “reinvention,” but let’s be real: 40 is long past the time when a do-over is fun and exciting. This isn’t where I thought I’d be at 40. It’s disheartening, and frustrating, and honestly, pretty scary. But what I’ve learned this year—with my trusty therapist’s help—is that it’s not so much the hardships or the nature of my life that has me white-knuckling 40, but rather shame, a thing so ingrained in me from my upbringing I didn’t know it was there. But it is. I have been feeling ashamed that I am unstable, unsuccessful, unattached, untogether, unwell, even unthin, at 40. And since statistically, just making it to 40 is an accomplishment in itself for a person with my combination of illness & trauma & circumstance...I also feel shame about feeling shame. *sings “Circle of Life”* So this is my first act as a 40-year-old: owning all this shame not for pity or encouragement, but so that, in contravention of everything I’ve ever been taught and everything that’s kept me “safe” up until now, I can finally choose to walk the fuck away from it. Or at least try. Or start trying to try, I guess. So there. Here’s a selfie, totally unedited, that I took today in my favorite place on Earth, where I was lucky enough to attend an exhibition of one of my favorite artists, Basquiat. Here too, is a pic of a sunset—which always seem to be incredible on my birthday. (I have a post abt this a couple yrs back in my feed. It’s a thing I can’t explain, but I’m grateful for.) I didn’t get to photograph this one in time, but you can tell it was pretty incredible for a minute or two. Not bad for a shitshow of a 40th. - - - #40 #40yearsold #40thbirthday #thisis40 #birthday #bday #paris #gay #gaystagram #gaysofinstagram #gayguys #sunset #mentalhealth #mentalillness #parisjetaime #basquiat #fondationlouisvuitton

Happy Thanksgiving from me and my dognephew enjoy this eminently unflattering angle! - - - #thanksgiving2018 #thanksgiving2018🦃🍂🍁 #thanksgivingbreak #thanksgivingdinner #thanksgivingday #thanksgivingweekend #turkey #turkeyday #instaturkey #holidays #holidaze #gaystagram #gaysofinstagram #gayguys #gaythanksgiving #thanksgivingfood #traditions #thanksgivingtradition #everythingisturkey #thankful #givingthanks #dachshundsofinsta #dachshund #doguncle #dogunclesofinstagram #dogs #dogsofinstagram

Wrote a thing (link in bio) abt the fires in California, & Point Dume in Malibu in particular, which are v important parts of my history & life (and I’m not even a rich celebrity, imagine!😒) These fires got me in my feelings, as the saying goes. Heartbroken for my former home. Piece is lamely titled “On California Wildfires” bc I’m bad at titles, on Medium and my blog (link in bio). Pls give to the California Community Foundation’s Wildfire Relief Fund if you can. Stay safe, Californians, and stay strong. Photo reposted from Wally Skalij, LA Times - - - - - #repost #california #wildfire #malibu #pointdume #woolseyfire #campfire #hillfire #losangeles #wildfires #malibufires #ptdume #thousandoaks #mentalhealth #mentalillness #gayigers #gaystagram #gaysofinstagram #gayguys #writersofinstagram #writing #essay #gaywriter #chicagoigers #la #wildfires #cawildfires #blog #climatechange #climatechangeisreal

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