Thank you for coming! I do not know how to make a website so this is a work in progress! Please do not judge my design skills because they do not exist and so hence and therefore ergo, it is not fair of you to judge them thank you!

Anyway hi I’m John, a prematurely elderly gay from the 90s who still listens to the Spice Girls and has a lot of feelings. I’ll be adding more here soon, as I continue the grand project of getting my shit together as a person who does things with words and pictures. I’m not really sure what this space will be, per se, but we’ll find out together I guess or something IDK stop pressuring me.

But until then, you can check out some of my writing here (and also on Medium). A lot of it is very sad but some of it is very funny which is a very apt metaphor for me as a person!

ALSO! If you live in Chicago, or even if you don’t and just have a lot of disposable income to spend on jet-setting about these United States, you can come see me on February 2nd at that Steppenwolf Theatre you may have heard about. Here is a linky-link-a-dink: You’re Being Ridiculous at Steppenwolf Theatre

And of course there’s all the social media malarkey, on which I am @JohntheCraptist, in which I yell a lot and make a lot of dumb videos, and for which there are links at the bottom of this site, assuming everything has worked correctly which is actually a hugely presumptuous assumption tbqh.

Ok that’s basically it. Say hey to your mom for me!

Find John on the Twitter and the Instagram social media things @JohntheCraptist if you care about that stuff!